shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com January 5, 2016 • Page 5 100 Predictions For The Year Ahead The P&D Staff Looks Into Its Crystal Ball To See What May — And May Not — Happen In 2016 18. Fifteen years after 9/11, it will still feel like it was yesterday. 19. The 1970s band Paper Lace won’t regroup, but you won’t care anyway. 20. Some presidential candidates won’t really drop out. Instead, they’ll just vanish. 21. An “accident waiting to happen” will happen. 22. The verb “defends” will be attached to headlines about Donald Trump more than any other candidate in modern political history. 23. The New England Patriots will best the Carolina Panthers to win the Super Bowl. 24. You will eat some Asian carp, and you’ll actually like it. 25. Unfortunately, the 35. Someday, 2016 will be looked upon as the “Year of the Drone” — and not just because of the proliferation of drone aircraft. Remember, it’s also an election year. 36. An effort to toughen the distracted driving laws in South Dakota will fail. 37. There will be at least three high-profile shooting events, with multiple casualties and full-tilt media coverage; there will be outrage and outcries … and, well, you know the rest. 38. Yankton’s Rockin’ Ribfest will expand to two days. 39. Ebenezer will not be a popular name for baby boys 40. Once again, it will seem utterly unfair that leap year means there will be one extra day of presidential campaigning this year. 41. Major League Baseball will make a move toward playing exhibition games in Cuba. 42. “Captain America: Civil War” will top “Batman vs. Superman” at the box office as the comic book/movie wars at long last heat up. 43. Surprisingly, Congress will take aggressive action to actually address an issue: the rising suicide rate among veterans. 44. Republicans will rule the roost in South Dakota’s general elections again. 45. You’ll dream about work. Bank on it. 46. The 75th anniversary of Pearl Harbor is going to remind us all of just how rapidly the World War II generation is disappearing. 47. Giving gag gifts will become a hot trend, and it will almost singlehandedly destroy Christmas. 48. Cardboard Boat Races will return to the waters of Lake Yankton. 49. Bernie Sanders will make things interesting — briefly. 50. Rick Santorum won’t. 51. By mid-December, the Minnesota Vikings will be a feature in serious Super Bowl conversations. 52. Rising deer numbers are going to become a problem 53. Yankton County may actually say “yes” to something. 54. Nebraska will get the death penalty back. 55. South Dakota’s presidential primaries won’t draw a big flock of candidates. 56. Bill Cosby just won’t seem real funny anymore. 57. The farm economy will continue to soften as rampant overproduction undercuts profits and livestock prices struggle. 58. As a result, CRP acreage will make a needed comeback. 59. ISIS will declare war on al-Qaida. With that, everybody wins! 60. Drone fights will grow in popularity. 61. Just when you think things can’t get any crazier, they will get crazier. 62. You will buy something based on what is absolutely the most annoying television commercial you’ve ever seen. 63. E-cigarettes will officially be labeled a health hazard. 64. Greenland will turn greener, and that’s not good. 65. Rumors will run rampant. 66. Legislation will be introduced — both in Congress and in state Legislatures — that calls for Christianity to be declared the official national religion. 67. The movie “Creed” will land Sylvester Stallone an Oscar nomination. Really. 68. Some individuals who have had near-death experiences will report that, instead of seeing a bright life, they saw the Apple “spinning wheel of death.” 69. The 25th anniversary of the Persian Gulf War will be remembered, but it will continually — and perhaps somewhat unfairly — be held to the judgment of the historical long view. 70. “Independence Day; Resurgence” won’t have the same pop and box office as the original. 71. Good news for compulsive-obsessives: The Weeknd will find that missing “e.” 72. You’ll realize just how amazing you genuinely are when you have a brush with calamity, causing your life to flash before your eyes — and Stan Lee has a cameo. 73. You’ll discover that your last name is an insult in some language somewhere. 74. Presidential candidates who decry no-gun zones will still be speaking at events at which guns are not allowed. 75. The National Weather Service will not introduce the term “testicle-size hail.” 76. In anticipation of quarterback Brock Osweiler taking over for the legendary Peyton Manning, the Denver Broncos — attempting to reach out to their more youthful fans — will produce a 2016 season preview video titled “Our Little Ponies: Brock Osweiler is Magic.” 77. McLaughlin High School will not change its nickname from “Midgets” to “Munchkins,” although that would be adorable. 78. YouTube weather guru Frankie McDonald of Nova Scotia will be hired by The Weather Channel for hurricane season. 79. The Washington Nationals probably won’t screw it up this time and will actually make the playoffs. 80. There’s more history in store. (Trust us.) 81. Somebody will find n predictions, Page 7 Boone County HealtH Center Has openings for a MT/MLT Full-Time “Full Service Farm Equipment” RN East Hwy. 50, Yankton, SD 1-800-827-9700 • 605-665-3872 Part-Time sales@koletzkyimplement.com • www.koletzkyimplement.com More information about these positions can be found on our website. We offer an excellent total compensation package. Congratulations Please apply online at www.boonecohealth.org or send resume to or contact: Jennifer Beierman BCHC Human Resources 723 W. Fairview, P.O. Box 151, Albion, NE 68620 402-395-3130 BCHC is an equal Opportunity Employer M O .C Hiring At Our M SWINE TE S Location Near TECHNICIANS SY NE O ST PE I .P Pipestone System offers an excellent compensation & bene?t package: W W Competitive Wages - based on position and experience W TIME 17. Although vinyl albums will continue to make a modest comeback, 45 rpm singles will stubbornly remain a thing of the past. term “soft target” will become increasingly familiar to a lot of people. 26. The Keystone XL Pipeline will still not be built.. 27. Just to warn you: Those rumors about Adele performing at USD aren’t going to pan out. 28. That time you thought it would be a good idea to binge-watch “The Flintstones” … 29. A Canadian team will bring the NHL’s Stanley Cup back home to the Great White North. (We’ll probably be making this prediction every year until it happens.) 30. There’s going to be some serious Oscar talk about “Mad Max: Fury Road.” But that’s all it will be. 31. “Spotlight” will win the Academy Award for Best Motion Picture. 32. Meanwhile, Leonardo DiCaprio will win the Oscar for Best Actor for his role in “The Revenant,” whose story has South Dakota roots. 33. And with that, maybe Frederick Manfred’s bestselling 1954 novel “Lord Grizzly” will be popular reading among the state’s high school students again. 34. Here’s a big surprise: 2016 will be one of the hottest years on record. Crofton, NE FULL- 1. This will at long last be the year for the Chicago Cubs — or they will go down in the biggest ball of soul-crushing flames in the franchise’s storied history of failure. 2. Flooding will continue to ravage California as El Nino settles in at full force. 3. Yankton High School will not have a “Clockwork Orange” dress-up day for homecoming week. 4. Remember the bygone days when a kid would put a penny on a railroad track and see what would happen when a train ran over it? It turns out that doesn’t work so well with a debit card. 5. Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson will compare Naziism to slavery — or vice versa. 6. Another White House barrier will be broken when Hillary Clinton will be elected the first female president of the United States, defeating Ted Cruz. 7. Isn’t it about time for a movie remake of “Hocus Pocus”? 8. The Golden State Warriors will top the Cleveland Cavaliers again for the NBA title. 9. It will be a fun winter for University of South Dakota and South Dakota State University basketball fans. 10. Mystery Science Theater 3000 will be back! 11. Tiger Woods won’t play much golf in 2016, and that’s all anyone will talk about when they discuss golf. 12. Facebook will drive you crazy. 13. OMG, U will LOL when you see what texting does to kids’ writing skills IMHO. (LBVS) 14. There will be a Dave Boots sighting in Vermillion. 15. Get ready for a Phil Collins comeback. 16. Mondays will still suck. Life and Long Term Disability Insurance HEALTH & DENTAL COVERAGE 401k Retirement Plan Paid Holidays and PTO Scholarship Programs Production Bonus Pork Program Flex Plan Apply through our website at www.pipestonesystem.com to apply or call Human Resources at 1-866-918-7378 to explore your future with us. Pre-employment drug testing and background screening required. Cedar County Veterinary Services LLC The Yankton Area Chamber of Commerce Ambassadors hosted a Ribbon cutting for Cedar County Veterinary Services LLC at their location, 4210 W. 8th Street. Drs. Benjamin and Erin Schroeder operate a mixed animal veterinary clinic with locations in Hartington, Vermillion and Yankton offering comprehensive care for livestock, equine and companion animals. Their goal is to provide high quality veterinary services in a personable and accommodating manner by focusing on accurate diagnostics, compassionate treatment of animals and client education. Cedar County Veterinary Services is open Monday – Thursday 8:00 am – 6:00 pm, Wednesday 8:00 am – 9:00 pm and Friday 8:00 am – 4:00 pm (Doctors not on site). They can be reached at 605-665-1841 or check out their website www.cedarcountyvet.com.