December 20, 2016 • Page 2 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com Markers Dave Says Wife Wins By Daris Howard IRA to Gold? Bad Idea Dear Dave, We just started following your plan, and we have $39,000 in debt. We make $55,000 a year, and two of our smaller Dear Dave, debts — one car and a credit card — What are your thoughts on transferring an IRA over to gold? Sandy are both $7,500. The credit card has a higher interest rate, so my wife thinks we should pay it off first. I look at the car as a necessity, and for that reason Dear Sandy, I think we should pay it off first. Who’s Honestly, I think that’s about the dumbest thing a person could do. I hope I wasn’t unclear. right? Gold is going down like a rock right now as people start to bePat lieve in the economy and the economic direction of this country again. The stock market indicates this is true, and in the process, Dear Pat, When the rules of paying off debts gold becomes worth less and less. Gold is essentially a fear-based Dave from smallest to largest don’t apply, I look product, and the less fear that’s out there, the cheaper gold is. at things this way: If you have two debts That’s not how you want to fund your IRA, Sandy. You want to that are of equal amounts, I would attack fund it with something that has a long track record based on the one with the larger interest rate first. In growth due to the performance of the companies involved — not someone’s greed or fear. Gold is a horrible investment, and I don’t your case, that would be the credit card debt. I get what you’re saying about the car. You guys might be in a own any except for one nice watch and a pair of cufflinks. That’s it! bind if something happened and you lost one car. But it’s also — Dave something you could work around if you had no other choice. So yeah, knock out the credit card first then move on to the car. Going this route will serve two purposes: First, it will save you some * Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and busimoney. And second, I’ve got a feeling it will fire up your wife and ness, and CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven bestselling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave get her on board with the plan even more than she already is. She’s taking this seriously if she’s eyeballing interest rates, Pat. Ramsey Show is heard by more than 12 million listeners each So use this momentum to work together, and knock out that debt! week on 575 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveram— Dave RAMSEY sey.com. “WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR A JOB, I PUT THE CLASSIFIEDS TO WORK!” Our Help Wanted Listings Have Hundreds Of Opportunities For You... • Full-Time • Part-Time • Permanent • Temporary 319 Walnut • Yankton, SD 605.665.5884 “I can’t stand winter,” said Herb Collins, who had dropped in at the Mule Barn’s philosophy counter for a quick cup. “There’s nothing to do.” “Get out and enjoy it,” suggested Doc. “Go skiing. Go ice fishing. Build a snowman. Do something. Then you’ll feel better.” “I don’t think your advice will take,” said Dud. “Herb seems to be intransigent on this one.” We all looked at Dud. “You see, he said he couldn’t stand winter,” Dud continued, “which shows he has a proclivity for intransigence on that particular subject.” We looked at him some more. “If he were to take up a winter hobby,” he continued, “he could stop being intransigent and enjoy things more.” Even Herb was staring at him now. “I usually,” said Herb, “enjoy a proclivity in that direction, but winter is pretty boring, so maybe I really should be intransigent on this point.” “Well Herb,” said Dud, “even though you might have a proclivity this season for being intransigent on your attitude about winter, you could kinda ease up and consider a hobby. That way you’d be showing a proclivity for transigence.” “Transigence?” said Doc. “I thought those were people who lived under bridges. You might want to look that one up, Dud.” Dud blushed as we laughed. “Say Dud?” said Steve, the cowboy. “Wasn’t proclivity last month’s word?” “Yes,” said Dud, “and I believe I’ve used it a couple of dozen times already.” “And now this month’s word is intransigence, right?” Dud nodded. “Well then,” said Doc, “it looks like you are going to have a proclivity for saying intransigence this month. That’s a veritable plethora of proclivity my friend.” Dud pulled out a pencil and grabbed a napkin. “How do you spell it, Doc?” “Spell what?” “Plethora.” We just groaned. Sometimes education can be ugly. MOODY As scoutmaster, I tried to make sure that we went on at least one campout every month, even in the winter. We used these weekends to teach the boys survival skills. But one particular winter month, the boys begged to have their campout be in the cabin Gordy’s grandparents owned. “Staying overnight in a cabin doesn’t really constitutes camping,” I told them. “But maybe we can just make this a fun time,” Gordy replied. “I’m trying to make men out of you. That is a tough assignment,” I teased. “Ha ha ha,” Gordy replied. “Thousands of comedians out of work and we get stuck with you.” The boys looked at me hopefully. I turned to my assistant, and he just shrugged. “Maybe there are times for just some good old fun and camaraderie.” “Okay,” I said. “But I expect you all to be on your best behavior. I don’t want Gordy’s grandparents having any reason to wish they hadn’t invited us.” “Hey,” Gordy replied. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there.” “That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” I said. “Ha ha ha,” Gordy replied. “Thousands of comedians out of work and I’m still stuck with you.” All the arrangements were made, and Gordy got the key from his grandparents. On Friday evening, we all loaded into my van and Rod’s pickup to make the trip into the woods to the cabin. As we traveled along, Gordy pulled out some markers. “What are those for?” Devin said, laughing. “Did you bring some coloring books, too?” “Nah,” Gordy replied. “These are to color your face when you fall asleep.” “What about you?” Mort asked. “We could do it back.” “I plan to stay awake all night,” Gordy replied. When we finally arrived at our destination, I was shocked. “Gordy, I thought you said it was a cabin. This is nicer than my home.” “That’s because you built your home,” Gordy replied. “Ha ha ha,” I replied. “Thousands of comedians out of work and I’m stuck with you.” We had a meal cooked on a gas stove, not over the fire like we were used to. Soon it was time for bed. The cabin was built for big groups, and the loft contained enough bunk beds for all fourteen of the boys who had come. The main floor bedroom had two beds, just right for my assistant and me. We all retired to our beds, but the boys definitely didn’t plan to go to sleep. However, around two in the morning, they finally quieted down. Some time later, I heard our bedroom door creak open. I watched as a shadow moved across our room. I waited until Gordy was poised over me with a marker in hand and then spoke in a deep, growly voice. “How long do you plan to live?” Gordy jumped back so fast he fell down and crashed into the wall. He slunk his way to the door. As he was closing it, he whispered for me to hear, “It was just a dream. It was just a dream.” “Go!” I said, and he shut the door. The next morning, as the boys wandered down blearyeyed for breakfast, every one of them had red, blue, and green lines on their faces; every one but Gordy. He truly had stayed awake all night. But by three o’clock in the afternoon when we headed home, he couldn’t keep his eyes open. The other boys slid the markers out of his hands, and he woke just enough to tell them to give them back. But instantly he was back asleep. As they colored him, he would wake only for an instant now and then, but quickly fall back asleep. By the time we arrived home, there was not one inch of his face, hands, ears, or any other exposed skin that was not colored. The next day, the boys wandered into the church, the permanent marker barely removed. The congregational leader grinned and said, “You boys look colorful today.” Gordy rolled his eyes. “Ha ha ha. Thousands of comedians out of work and we’re stuck with you.” The congregational leader laughed. “And with the permanent marker, too.” Entertainment MOTOR NIOBRARA, NE Patrick Hawk 251 Spruce Ave • Box 260 Niobrara, NE 68760 www.moodymotor.com pjhawk@hotmail.com (402) 857-3711 (800) 745-5650 Fax (402) 857-3713 Thank You to our wonderful Customers and Employees. May you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays! YANKTON FREEMAN WAGNER MITCHELL 665-3762 925-4241 384-4580 996-6633 Authorized Retailer Christmas Church Services St. Leo Catholic Church Jurrens Electronics 114 Main St. Avon, SD (605) 286-3630 1-888-873-7382 Sat. December 24th Mass 5:00pm Sun. December 25th Mass 9:00am 100E 20th Ave., Tyndall, SD 605.589.3504 St. Vincent Catholic Church Sat. December 24th Mass 8:00pm 1203 Woods St. Springfield, SD Looking for the best deal in town? Check the CLASSIFIEDS! 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