March 27, 2018 • Page 2 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com A Difference in Culture Dave Says By Daris Howard Two Extremes Dear Dave, I’m about to graduate from college, and while I’ve been in school my mom has been handling most of my finances. Recently, I discovered she’s been taking my student loan money and spending it on herself. So far, it looks like she’s taken around $12,000, and I have a total of $25,000 in student loan debt. Since I realized this was happening, I’ve been reading your books and learning how to manage my Dave own money. I don’t know how to deal with this situation with her, though. She admits she did wrong, but says she can’t pay it back. Can you help? Alan I was nineteen years old and living in New York when I first met Juan. His family had come to the United States from South America, and he was proud of his heritage. He was a pleasant young man and a jokester. But one thing he especially liked to do was to challenge the rest of us to see who could eat the hottest, spiciest foods. Juan would eat a hot pepper and say, “Where I live, we eat chili peppers like you eat M&M’S.” Of course, living in Buffalo, New York, the most famous spicy food was Buffalo Chicken Wings. Juan issued a challenge to the rest of us, claiming he could eat hotter chicken wings than anyone, and he dared us to prove otherwise. In our group of a dozen young men, four decided to take the challenge. There were a few places in Buffalo, all of which claimed to be the restaurant that first made chicken wings. Juan told the challengers to choose whichever one they wanted. One of the challengers, Donaldson, chose the restaurant based on the hotness factor. This restaurant claimed to have chicken wings from super-super mild to what they called “hot death.” On a day off from work, the twelve of us went there to eat and watch the challenge. Though most of us didn’t plan to be part of the competition we thought we would see how far up the hotness scale we could go. We started by ordering a platter of the supersuper mild. We each ate one. They were barely spicy, and I liked them. We ordered a super mild next. This burned slightly for me, and some of our group went no hotter. Next was the mild. When I tried that, tears rolled from my eyes, and I decided I was happy to end there. Most of us quit at that level, but the four challengers and Juan kept going. But as the temperature increased, one by one the challengers, eyes watering, dropped out. There were still three heat levels left when the last challenger conceded victory to Juan. As each person reached their hottest level, there would be lots of gulping of pop or anything to try to wash away the burn, and Juan would point at the person and say, “Gringo,” and laugh. After the last challenger dropped out, all pitched in and bought a platter of “hot death,” and Juan, to our great admiPIERRE, S.D. – The South Dakota Board of Education ration, ate every wing on it. Standards adopted new academic content standards in the Juan’s victory was the talk of our meetings for about a following subject areas at its meeting March 19: week. Then, one day, Donaldson received a package from •Capstone courses home. In it was a note from his mother to share it with all of •Career and technical education (business management us. It was full of cookies and something else that Donaldson & administration; government & public administration; said was his favorite treat. There were twelve small vials of hospitality & tourism; marketing; transportation, distribusweetened cinnamon and a package of toothpicks. Donaldtion & logistics) son showed us that he loved to dip the toothpick into the •English language arts cinnamon and then lick it. •Health education We each took our cinnamon and followed his lead. It •Math was really good, and soon we were all licking our cinnamon •Oceti Sakowin Essential Understandings and Standards toothpicks. But that was when something interesting hap“Content standards provide educators a roadmap for pened. Juan licked his the first time, and his eyes grew wide, what students should know and be able to do,” said Becky and he started to scream. He rushed to the kitchen sink and Nelson, director of learning and instruction for the South started gulping water and trying to rinse his mouth. Finally, Dakota Department of Education. “Like a roadmap, standhe turned to us. ards allow for both consistency and flexibility. The goal is “You trick me!” that all students get from point A to point B in their learn“It’s just cinnamon oil,” Donaldson said, dipping a toothing, but each local school district chooses the curriculum pick and licking it off. and instructional materials it will use to help students meet Juan walked over to Donaldson and jerked the bottle those standards.” from his hand. He picked up a new toothpick, dipped it in State law requires that the Board of Education Standards the cinnamon, and licked it. Again, his eyes grew wide, and review academic content standards on a cyclical basis. In he screamed and ran to the kitchen sink. He still thought it addition, the board is required to host four public hearings was a trick, so after Donaldson showed him again, and licked as part of the standards review process. Today’s standards off a toothpick, Juan grabbed the toothpick out of Donaldadoption came after the conclusion of the fourth public son’s mouth, and to our disgust, licked it, too. Once more we hearing on these content standards. watched Juan scream and run to the sink. The standards were developed by work groups, whose “It must just be a difference of spices that we are used to members consisted of K-12 educators, postsecondary in our culture,” I said. representatives, business and industry representatives, and When Juan finally pulled his mouth away from the water other key stakeholders, including parents. faucet, Donaldson pointed at him and said, “Non-Gringo,” Information on the newly adopted standards can be and we all laughed. found at http://doe.sd.gov/ContentStandards/review.aspx. So Donaldson had an extra container of cinnamon for The complete South Dakota Standards Revision and himself, and Juan never teased us again. Adoption Timeline is available on the South Dakota Department of Education website. One extreme is to press criminal charges. The other extreme is to just forget it, and pay it. In between is a promise from her to repay everything she has taken, but she’s already out of control. That’s a promise that wouldn’t be kept. The problem with prosecuting someone criminally for this type of action — other than the emotional toll, because she’s your mom — is the money’s already gone. It’s doesn’t make them magically have the money to repay you. On top of all this, you’d have a really hard time legally getting the student loans removed from your name due to theft. Honestly, under the circumstances I think you’re probably going to end up eating this. But sit down, and try to have a calm, clear discussion about what has happened, and why it happened. Let her know first, without a doubt, that you will criminally prosecute her if she ever uses your name to put money into her own pocket again. Second, tell her you’re prepared to forgive her and forget about it — and she pays you back at some point, if she can — if she agrees to get some financial and emotional counseling. Dear Alan, Try to get her some help, and get her under control, Alan. I hate hearing this. There’s no easy way to deal with these If you don’t, I’m afraid things are only going downhill from kinds of situations. here. The first thing you need to do is take over complete and — Dave total control of all your finances. Shut down any accounts that have her name on them, and anything else financially- * Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and busirelated that she can access. I know this sounds harsh, but ness, and CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven bestThe Total Money Makeover. The she has proven she’s just not trustworthy. It’s a hard thing to selling books, including by more than 12 million listeners Dave Ramsey Show is heard each hear about a parent, but at this point you’ve got to take steps week on 575 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow to protect yourself. What she has been doing is theft, and Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramfinancial child abuse. sey.com. Ramsey Apply To Be Part Of SD Change Network BROOKINGS, S.D. - National Arts Strategies (NAS) and SDSU Extension are seeking current residents of South Dakota who see opportunities to create systems of change in their community to apply for the upcoming South Dakota Change Network. A year-long fellowship, the South Dakota Change Network is designed for South Dakotans working to lead change in their organizations and communities. The South Dakota Change Network is an initiative program created by the Bush Foundation to provide South Dakotans with a challenging and supportive learning environment to build their self-awareness, leadership abilities, and systems-change skill sets. The Change Network is a collaborative effort between NAS, the Bush Foundation, SDSU Extension and Vision Maker Media. "NAS has a long history of cohort-based programs partnering with communities across the US. This is an exciting opportunity to add our expertise in arts and community development to support and grow community change in South Dakota," said Gail Crider, President and CEO of NAS. Participation in the South Dakota Change Network is free and all participants will have access to a small project grant to implement a related community change project. "Through the Change Network, we are hoping to engage a diverse group of South Dakotans representative of a multitude of backgrounds, professions, ways of thinking, points of view and age," said Kari O'Neill, SDSU Extension Community Vitality Field Specialist. Interested applicants are encouraged to apply by May 31, 2018. For more information and instructions on how to apply, please visit South Dakota Change Network online, click on the program's tab and scroll down to Change Network South Dakota. Dining & Entertainment p tc a , SSaeuridalys! 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